Why Do I Keep Going Back To A Toxic Relationship? | Hope Heals Therapy (2024)

FAQs

Why do I keep wanting to go back to a toxic relationship? ›

We sometimes rather stay in a bad relationship, because the pain left in our hearts when we leave is so intense. We underestimate our ability, as humans, in moving on. We think accepting all the wrong things a toxic relationship throws at us will hurt us less than a heartbreak.

Our insecurities and our fears eat away at who we are and keep us from breaking free of toxic and hateful partnerships. If you keep running back to the same person, it's often because you feel so bad about yourself that you come to believe that's the best you can do.

Therapy can help a toxic person confront their behavior, understand its impact on their partner and themselves, and work towards change. However, it's essential to recognize that change can be a long and challenging process.

Low self esteem– Having a low self esteem is another reason why people allow toxic people into their lives. It ties back to the fear that no one will ever want you and you will be alone for the rest of your life.

Your brain becomes conditioned to crave and seek out the positive moments, even if they are scarce or inconsistent. This conditioning can lead you to stay in toxic relationships, hoping for and pursuing those fleeting positive moments while enduring the negative ones.

Why do good people find themselves stuck in toxic relationships? Therapists often speak of something called “love addiction,” where a person craves the sense of fulfillment and validation that comes from being in a relationship, no matter how destructive.

Toxic relationships and mental health

They may feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells and be in a state of heightened anxiety or fear. Over time, these feelings can become overwhelming and lead to chronic stress, which can harm the physical and mental health of the person.

If your relationship feels broken, there is hope. When you attend couples therapy, a counselor can help you understand yourself and your partner and the intricate dynamics of your relationship. Gaining insight into the challenges of your relationship can help you overcome those hurdles to bring couples close again.

Physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically — healing takes time. You experience an incredible amount of stress in a toxic relationship, from daily micro-conflicts to standout traumatic events. We often think of breaking up as the moment the pain stops, but the truth is there's still a lot to work through.

Do I need therapy after a toxic relationship? ›

Toxic relationships can leave you feeling worthless or inadequate. You may feel like you're not good enough or that you don't deserve love or respect. If you're struggling with low self-esteem after a toxic relationship, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional.

Someone with toxic traits may not realize or care that their actions negatively impact others if they lack emotional intelligence. If someone is unaware their actions hurt others, try addressing the problem with them. If they refuse to listen, you may need to set boundaries or stop spending time with them.

Toxic people are often erratic in their emotions and behavior. Although this isn't healthy, this lack of perfection can feel overly relatable. Being with someone who's emotionally stable all the time can feel weird if it's not what you're used to in relationships, friends — or even yourself.

It affects your self-esteem, you can feel symptoms of depression and anxiety. You might lose the parts of you that you loved about yourself and become a person you don't recognize anymore. Constant exposure to stress caused by toxic relationships has the potential of affecting our physical health as well.

It can lead to various stress-induced health issues. So, until you start loving yourself enough and asking for the love you deserve, toxic relationships will threaten your overall security and well-being.”