Ask an Expert: What's the Difference Between a Soulmate and a Twin Flame? (2024)

Have you ever felt an instant connection with another person upon meeting them? Love at first sight or an instant connection to another person is often used to describe first encounters with a soulmate. Even if you have not met your soulmate, you have probably come across the term before at some point in time. You may not be familiar with the concept of a twin flame. A twin flame is another type of relationship that is related to the soul. While the general concept of soul mates and twin flames may sound similar, the relationships could not be more different from one another. Here is an expert opinion on the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame and whether the relationships are really meant to be:

What's the definition of a soulmate?

A soulmate is someone that you form a deep emotional connection with almost instantly. Soulmates can come in the form of both friendships and romantic partners. Soulmates deeply understand you to the point where it feels like you may have known each other in a past life, or as if you have shared experiences even though you just met.

What’s the definition of a twin flame?

A twin flame, also known as a mirror soul, is a person that you are deeply emotionally connected to. The lore behind twin flames explains that these souls are the two halves of one being. Twin flames feel instantly connected upon meeting, but often form unhealthy relationships because they twin souls mirror each other’s insecurities and weaknesses rather than balancing them out.

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How are they similar?

Soulmates and twin flame relationships are both related to the idea of souls and the possibility of destiny. When you first meet your soulmate or your twin flame, it can be difficult to figure out if they are your soulmate or twin flame, because the initial interactions are often very similar. You will feel an instant connection to one another, and as if you were destined to meet, or as if you have met in a past life. Later stages of the relationship will help you discern one connection from the other, but the initial meeting with either will feel serendipitous and special.

What makes them different?

Though soulmates and twin souls are both related to deep, soul connections between two people, the relationships themselves are actually fairly different. The connection between soulmates is powerful and often comes easily. Soulmates deeply understand each other and are able to balance out each other because of their strong connection. Soulmates often end up together because they are very compatible. Twin flame relationships often serve to teach and inspire you to grow. Many people misunderstand the concept of twin flames, and believe that the individuals are only whole when they are together. But in reality, twin flame relationships help you grow into your full potential. The mirroring effect of twin flame relationships can inspire emotional growth that makes you more yourself.

What are some signs you found your soulmate, twin flame?

If you feel an automatic and deep connection with another person upon meeting them, then it’s likely you’ve met your soulmate or your twin soul. If they are your soulmate, you will get along with them easily and find that you are extremely compatible and in-tune with one another. Twin flame connections will also feel intense, but you will come to realize that you are not exactly compatible and perhaps too similar to the other person. Twin flame relationships are often very tumultuous because your insecurities are amplified by the other person.

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Can soulmates be twin flames?

Though there are some shared characteristics between these relationships, soulmates cannot be twin flames. Soulmates are two souls that are destined to be together, while twin flames are thought to be the same soul cut in two. Soulmates are naturally compatible and are often perfectly suited to one another. Twin flames on the other hand have a strong attraction to one another, but are not actually that compatible because they are too similar to one another. Soulmates are meant to be together, while twin flames are meant to encourage growth and awareness in the other. We should note here that it is possible for twin flames to end up together if they are able to overcome their insecurities and triggers.

What are twin flame stages?

There are eight stages in twin flame relationships, but depending on the two people involved, all eight stages might not be accomplished. The first stage is the premonition stage, where you feel as if you are about to meet someone very important in your life. The second stage is when you actually meet this person and have an instant connection. The third stage relates to the conflict that arises as you mirror and amplify each other’s insecurity. This stage is followed by more conflict that can serve as a catalyst for the relationship, either deepening your connection, or driving you and your partner apart. This stage is followed by the chase in which one partner pursues the other. This can either be followed by a surrender to the connection and a reunion in which you and your twin flame end up together, or it can lead to the end of the relationship, if you are not able to work through your problems as an individual and as a couple.

Which one is better?

It is hard to say which relationship is better, because the two serve very different purposes. You will likely end up with your soulmate because of your deep connection and strong compatibility. Twin flame relationships are less about lifelong companionship and more about teaching you about yourself and promoting growth. Twin flame relationships serve a purpose and often pave the way for other more lifelong relationships, which makes them super important in the scheme of your life. We should note here that twin flame relationships can become toxic if you and your partner simply mirror each other’s insecurities and weaknesses without putting in the work to address these issues in yourself and in the relationship. While twin flame relationships can be an opportunity for growth, they can also turn sour.

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By Caitlin Killoren on Jun 11, 2021

With a degree in Psychology and over a decade of experience, Caitlin has made improving people's relationships both her career and her passion. Her work has been featured in publications like Bustle, Well + Good, and Goalcast, and she currently resides in Austin, Texas with her husband and giant fluffy dog, Remy.

Ask an Expert: What's the Difference Between a Soulmate and a Twin Flame? (2024)
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